the Pulse of Life on Earth
Inspiration for the Kali Earth Love painting comes from the following experience that occurred on November 4, 2019.
There have been many magic moments in my life. This one moved me, insistently, to write it all down, paint this painting and to share it...
Walking out in the woods along deer worn paths and watching Earth's energy move through the trees - looking up at the tops and watching them sway with the wind in soft, peaceful harmony, feeling the wind on me, in my hair and on my face. Breathing in the scent of crunchy leaves. Appreciating the 'alone but not alone'. Feeling at one and content as often happens out in Nature. All at once this energetic awareness stops me in my tracks and I hear/feel/experience a voice inside say, "Look down now and know this is me. Look at what you're standing on. This is me. All this is me. My expression." It's a bold voice of clarity, naked truth and it is powerful in its simplicity. It's not scary, but I'm in awe. My heart beat quickens and my inner ears reach for more as I stand completely still.
I look down and see myself standing on Earth, really see it and feel it. I look ahead on the path and see the leaves being blown, scooting along the path in front of me by the wind, their dance, their sacred dance. And I get a lump in my throat and feel tears come to my eyes. I'm struck by the realization that their dance, and all the majesty I am encircled by is an expression of the most profound love ever. I am walking on this. I am surrounded by this presence. And I'm feeling the great mother way down deep in the center of me. So big in my core. So big is she in all of Earth, in the hotness, the lava, the explosive energy in the solid core of Earth. Knowing her, feeling her and then hearing her name - she says it softly in my eager ears, "Kali Earth". She says it so quietly I almost don't hear it, like I have to reach for it. What I feel about that is, acceptance.
This is followed by the first of many uploads yet to come from her, not coming down from above, but rising up from the Earth. This experience is not unlike others I've had in Nature where I felt expansive and loved. What is unique to this is the deeper connection and the more intense, in depth communication being shared. And the Love, though I can't yet fully grasp it all, I was able to sink in to it more than ever before.
She says she is "all of creation she is the heart of earth - she beats the rhythm of life from the white hot center of Earth. And it is created of the greatest love that we cannot even comprehend". It brings such big emotions just feeling on the outer edges of this incomprehensible love.
My heart is expanding and I begin to understand, to feel how She is all of presence, She is the heart of Earth, of us, of everything. It is like petals are opening within me.
She tells me what I have forgotten, what I have not fully been in awareness of. She is alive in every single aspect of the Earth. Her fierce, powerful creative energy is love. The explosive powerful energy that runs through every living thing on this planet is Her - is that enormous, unfathomable to me as a human being - Love. Touching into this breaks me open, touching on what she truly is, and I stand there being filled with her love and it is almost painful in its scope. Tears come as I allow her love to move through me. To know this love has been with me forever. That this love is ours and always has been, I had forgotten.
When we are in our Earth self, we are in our full expression of love. Impossibly and yet naturally whole. Perfect. We are loved like in a way I struggle to express - but I feel it. It’s not just the love that we have been taught through our lives, it’s love that is pure lava, life force. It's about everything that exists, and it's her expression of this enormity that is not containable.
She loves the dark of you as she loves the dark of the night, she loves all that she has created and she has created all. This love surrounds every aspect of you, there is no part of you that is deemed unclean, unacceptable or unlovable. She loves completely, in a way I have no words for but have been deeply touched by. I wonder if when a volcano erupts it is because there is more love, more creative powerful energy that cannot be contained.
This Love is not just nice love, sweet love, kind love - it is that, and it's much more. It's fierce. I get that it loves even what I've labeled as bad or untouchable, the unlovable parts of me. This Love is ALL loving. Meaning we're embraced no matter what we are in any moment, in all our aspects - all our human being-ness, our drama, pain, anger and sorrow, as well as our sweetness, magnificence and glory. This is what it feels like to be dressed in love from head to toe, from inside out, and shew, I am overwhelmed, it makes me cry hard to feel this raw and this full. It is almost impossible to allow more to flow through me, it is inexplicable. We come from Love, we are Love, we are expressions of Love and there is literally nothing we are that is not powerfully loved and accepted by her.
These truths she pours into my heart come back to me over and over. They inform my insecure parts about what is true and what is important and the truth helps me to choose expansion over holding too tightly.
I hear her again. She says - "Stop looking up." She says - "You do not need to look above and thank anyone, or look outside yourself for love." And I get, on an even deeper level, crystal clearly, that she is here. Here! She is coursing through every atom, every tiniest bit of life, the minuscule bits that we have little thought or awareness of in our daily lives. She is the fiery force behind every cell that splits and divides itself in our bodies and on this planet. Each cell splitting and birthing continuously.
She is literally in us and around us - we cannot step away from her. We walk upon her - we breath her in - we eat of her - we consume her! We hear her in every sigh, every bird who sings us awake. She is alive and dancing through our bodies as well as swaying in the trees. We see her, she permeates all our eyes can capture - we sleep on her -we create - we love - we fill ourselves with Her every second of every day. Just breathing all that in is astonishing to me.
At this point I become aware; in my body I feel this surging, pulsing, drum beating rhythm. It is smooth and fiery, like a volcano that is oozing all of life. It feels like there is an ocean of lava inhaling and exhaling within my own breathing body. Undulating Her rhythm within me. There is a steady stream of love and life force that beats within Earth, and likewise within the core of us all. Love that is connecting us to Earth and Earth connecting us to love. Remarkably expansive and constant. And in this feeling and awareness, I experience within me something of the painting above, though it may never quell the need I have to express this love space within us and within Earth.
We fill ourselves with her every second of every day. How did we come to believe that somehow we are not Her, when we simply are?
We are created in Her image, how could it be any other than that, when she is what has made us, what has fed us, and has nurtured life from the very start?
She says "Feminine energy is here as Her expression of creation and Life itself, to honor growth and nurture the cycle of birth and death in all of creation. Masculine energy is here as guardian over the powerful, as well as delicate creations of Her, energies that serve, cherish and protect from harm Feminine wisdom and ways of Life." (There is more from her on this to come.)
There was a forgetting within me, a reprogramming that has been enforced for thousands of years. To forget our connection, to forget our Source, to look up, instead of within, to look outward at the world instead of within the Earth's own wisdom for guidance. Forgetting to honor and cherish this Living Breathing Force that is responsible for giving us life. As I stand there, still as a stone but feeling more alive than ever, I am in awe that everything I see, touch, hear, breathe - is me and I am merged with all that is.
I know in my bones that we as humans, when we are not acting from our divine connection with Earth, are destroying ourselves and our opportunity to embrace her gifts, many of which will live on with or without us and at this point, would likely flourish without us. When we do not honor and respect the gift of life she has heaped on us, we hurt all of life. The destruction of the animals, of the topsoil, the oceans and rivers, the very air we breathe, and of us - is quite powerfully driven by the imbalanced patriarchal society that we have been floundering under for centuries.
This thread will be explored more in my next segment. I'll also share about ways we can help ourselves and our beloved planet and all of life. Life depends on a healthy planet and environment, and healthy souls whose hearts yearn for balance, for wellness, for loving kindness.
Earth will go on, she will adjust and bring herself back into homeostasis. We must find ways to support all of life on this planet by not buying into the untruths, the corruption, the degradation of life, the racism, the cruelties of greed, our own superiority, and the disconnectedness that allows us to not see others as beloved ones. We must no longer be willing to allow the same old unhealthy shit to be recycled again and again as it has been for centuries.
We have the power. We are many. We can stand together and make change and it comes from within each of us. Meaning, the more conscious we become of our own inner darkness and light, the more this energetic shift can be translated outward into a better way of being here for every living aspect of this loving planet Earth.
Share your thoughts and feelings in the comments (link above) they are welcome here and I will respond to what you share.
With much love and appreciation...
The Scarlet Madonna came through after I saw the tragic photo of the refugee baby who was washed up on the beach. The thought that kept going through my mind was I don't want to live in a world where dead babies wash up on the shore. She is saying, this must stop. She is expressing the deepest sorrow that this tragedy is allowed to happen in the world. She asks us to let love in.
We get caught up in negativity - we deny the humanity that longs to flow from our hearts. We might see it as Them vs Us - They cause problems. They take our resources. They should have done better. They didn't plan well - But what about understanding that They Are Us. What if your sister is lost and alone, with no one to take her hand and say "here is a warm, safe place for you and your baby. I’m sorry you have suffered so much. I want to help you." That heartbreaking photo of an innocent child brought this message home for people all over the world. It created awareness, it created change. It is a message that mustn't be forgotten as the refugee crisis slowly fades from the news and from our thoughts.
In the bigger picture, what is being asked of all of us is to cultivate, in every area of our lives, awareness of the fact that we share the same heart, the same earth, the same consciousness. It's not only a "doing" thing; we get understandably caught up in feeling helpless and frustrated that there seems so little we can do. But we can feel into our hearts and let compassion in, release judgment, allow ourselves to really get that this is our earth, this is our baby, this is me, this is my sister, my family, my neighbor - we are not separate. Let's take good care of what we have been given. As we are consciously shifting our beliefs, the energy also shifts. We can create more harmony, less suffering, less destruction… we evolve. We can honor life in all its many forms.
We do what we can from where we are - send prayers, love and light, donate, cultivate awareness. If you are compelled, get more involved. Listen to what your soul asks of you in any given moment. You may also hear fear leaping in to dissuade you from doing anything. But you get to choose what you want to give more attention to, love or fear.
Many times when I feel pulled to give to a person on the street, there are two things that run through me, one is - He might be living in a decent home and makes a shit ton of money preying on people like me who have soft hearts. (this is exactly what I have been told) This is my fear coming in to the picture, it wants to protect me from being taken advantage of, from being manipulated, etc.
My next thought is - So what? If that is true, so what? This doesn’t hurt me. Does it really matter what he is up to? I’m doing what my heart asks of me and that's what matters to me. And what if he needs that cash to get food, what if he suffers from a mental illness, what if he is freezing - so many what ifs and I'm not in a position to know or judge what is really happening with this person. I don't want to be in suspicion, distrust or feel manipulated for doing what I feel is the best thing to do…What matters is acting from a place of Love. We are free to respond from the sacred within ourselves.
With deepest respect, love and abiding faith in this journey,
Authenticity and Being Real
Whenever I am in the presence of a woman who owns her sensuality, I notice her inner light and I appreciate how it feels in the space between us. I don't even have to know her, it can be a brief exchange and yet I am touched in some way. Her energy is palpable, she is grounded, she is magnetic within her capacity to be who she is - a feeling, touching, embracing her senses, alive in her skin - human being. Radiating authenticity. She is Real.
I started this journey so many years ago with just a whisper to the Divine - I want to be Real. Since then, every breath, each heartbeat has served to bring me closer to Real. Sometimes there is a tidal wave of awareness that takes me on a ride so intense that I want to hide away.